Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Fears & Excitement Over the Arrival of Our First Baby

 
 
 
In less than two months, my husband and I (along with our super spoiled pup) will welcome our first baby into our family. For us, this is such a big deal. Our lives will never be the same! I wanted to share some of the fears and excitements that we are experiencing as we patiently await the arrival of our firstborn baby girl!
 
1. Fear of Giving Birth
I've always had fears of giving birth. I mean, fear to the point of never wanting to have kids. I'm a total baby when it comes to pain. And I'm super tense. Combine those two things together and I always told myself that I could never give birth. I'm realizing that that is such a lie! (another post for another day). I've always said that I have wanted an epidural and wanted it to go as easy and as fast as humanly possible because I thought I couldn't do it. Now that I am pregnant and have learned so much about birth and how medicine can effect the baby along with the great benefits of going medicine-free, I decided I wanted to go as natural as possible. I want to prove to myself that I am strong and for our baby, to keep her as healthy and alert as I can help. Before deciding this, I was praying for peace because of my intense fears of giving birth. God absolutely answered my prayers and now I have such a peace about giving birth although there are times where I start to worry about the pain. But I know I'm not the only one who has went through this!
 
2. Excitement of Experiencing New Life with My Husband  
My husband and I decided to do the Bradley Method, which is a husband-led way of going through the amazing process of birth. My husband is my rock and the place I know I can go for relaxation and peace during any kind of circumstance so I know he is going to be the best birthing coach I could even imagine! He is so calming and supportive and I can not wait to experience the amazing miracle of bringing a new life into the world with the person I love the most on earth. We know that God is going to do great things!
 
3. Fear of Our Baby Changing My Identity
I've always had a fear that once I become a mom, I won't be able to do the things I love anymore. There is a fear in me of being completely changed and turning into someone whose world revolves around her children and doesn't really see anything besides them. It's a real fear in my heart that I will become so involved or so wrapped up that I will lose a part of who I am.. I am afraid to drive a minivan at the age of 23. I am afraid of mom jeans and letting myself go. I am afraid of women my age with no children not building friendships with me because I'm not in their season anymore (something I am guilty of doing before I got pregnant). I guess I am afraid that being a mom is going to make me feel less than who I am.
 
4. Excitement of Our Baby Making Me a Mother
Even though I do struggle with believing the lie that motherhood will make me lose a part of who I am, I am so excited, so humbled, and so honored that I am gaining a new part of me. God is blessing me and entrusting me and my husband to be parents to His precious children. What an honor! I have to remind myself that I can still write and create and take photos and shop every now and then. I don't have to go buy a minivan anytime soon and I can still reach out to my friends without kids and go out to coffee and laugh (with a baby sweetly sleeping on my chest). Who I am will be changing but motherhood will only be enhancing who I am, not taking away who I am. And for that, I am so excited.
 
5. Fear of Our Baby Affecting Our Marriage
This is probably the biggest fear I have about having children. I see precious couples choose their kids over each other all the time. And it hurts. It hurts my heart to see wives neglecting the needs and wants of their husband. Without realizing that that is a choice, I fear falling into that trap. I am head over heels in love with my husband and as much as I can't wait to have children, I decided a long time ago to never put my kids about my husband. I'm sure it's easier said than done especially when that little newborn needs her mama every 2 hours to eat and in between, but I know it's not impossible. But the opportunity of a baby affecting our marriage in a negative way is really a fear of mine.  
 
6. Excitement of Our Baby Growing in us a New Love for One Another
I have seen marriages grow apart over time when children come into the picture but I have also seen the amazing ways that having a baby enhances a marriage. I've heard wives say that seeing their husbands as a daddy makes their heart grow 100 times bigger for them. They fall in love with their husbands all over again. They rely even more so on each other. And I know that having a baby doesn't have to affect our marriage in a negative way but that it was grow and make our marriage flourish and for that, I am more than ecstatic! I've always wanted to be a mom and my husband has always wanted to be a dad (he's going to be the best dad ever!) and we are so ready to have our own little family. I can't wait to take our little girl on camping trips, downtown during the summer, to the pool, and on little dates. I can't wait to get a babysitter and spend all night with just my husband. I can't wait to send my husband and daughter off on daddy-daughter date nights. I can't wait to fall more in love with my husband every day, through every pregnancy and every year our family grows bigger and bigger.
 
 
 
 
What are some of your fears about becoming a mother? What are you most excited for?


linking up this morning with Holly, Jenn,

16 comments:

  1. I have such a similar personality to you, Katie! I know I would feel many of these same feelings of fear and excitement if I were expecting. I didn't realize there were different methods for giving birth; The Bradley method sounds like a wonderful way for your husband to feel involved with the birth as well!

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    1. I'm glad I'm not alone! :) Thanks for stopping by and reading :)
      Yes, there are so many to choose from! The Bradley is awesome!!

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  2. These are all totally real fears, a baby definitely does change things! You will find yourself becoming the absolute best version of you though, and it is so cliche but you will truly love the baby in a way you didn't know was possible! One piece of advice is make time for date night and be sure to connect as a couple, not just mommy and daddy :-) congrats to you on a sweet girl!

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    1. Thank you so much for that!!! We are so excited and you're right, definitely keep up the date nights :)

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  3. What an exciting, exciting time for you guys!!! I totally understand your fears from one momma to another. You will do great!!

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    1. Thanks so much fellow mama :) thanks for stopping by!

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  4. Girl - these are such real fears and excitements! You are stronger than me - I said give me all the drugs. ha. I ended up having a c-section {which terrified me} but everything went great and this time around I am not as fearful. I will still have a c-section but it is planned so it will be an entirely different process.

    You are going to be an awesome mommy! I am so proud of you for researching and seeking God to know what is right for you and your family. You are going to rock this mom thing.

    Oh, and on a funny note - my biggest fear: pooping on the table during birth. So silly and it happens to a ton of people but it totally freaked me out. HA! {Did I just put that in writing for the world to read?!}

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    1. You never know what's going to happen in labor so that's awesome you were open minded to everything that could happen! And it's a huge fear of mine too!! Haha!!! But I feel like at that point, I won't even care lol!

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  5. These are all SO normal, and then totally dissipate once the baby is here. My fears mainly centered around my identity and grieving the loss of who I "thought" I was. I also struggled with the marriage piece. But, children edify, they don't take away. I thought marriage changed me, but our son changed me even more. Rather I was transformed- just another way God works in us and through others! As for labor, I had many fears of how I wanted to see it happen and then everything I feared came true- But God, he redeemed it all and blessed me with an unmedicated birth anyways despite the odds. I was so grateful to have scripture, and worship music, and time to pray while in labor.. And the idea that the pain is not happening TO me - it was a part OF me and a beautiful process. Fear is not from God, it is from the enemy! I am praying that he would encourage you and give you peace in each moment as you encounter it.

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    1. Oh my goodness. Thank you so so so so much!!!!! Your words were so encouraging and helpful.
      Especially the fear and the pain part. You're such an inspiration!

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  6. Oh I just love this, you got this! SO exciting! Thanks for linking up! xo

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    1. Thanks for stopping by friend :)
      I'm excited to share the journey!!

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  7. Regarding fear #5 - You are right, there are many people who make this mistake. But the fact that you are aware of it at this point is HUGE! I've been married for 11 years, had kids for 8 and (with the exception of the 3-4 months after we gave birth to our first) our marriage hasn't done anything but blossom. Those first few months are tough though, as it's a huge adjustment. Just remember, it's a short season! Once everyone is getting good sleep again, life will settle into a new normal. Also, I sincerely didn't want to leave my baby for the first 6 months even to date my hubby. But that too calmed down and our marriage is strong because we choose to be strong. Best of luck.

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    1. You're so right, it all comes in seasons. Thank you so much for your encouragement!!!
      So helpful, seriously. Love to hear from moms whose marriages have flourished after babies!

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  8. I love that you posted such an open and honest post about totally normal fears and excitements. I'm engaged and I sometimes worry about how having kids will affect my impending marriage. And childbirth terrifies me. Oh I do not want to push anything out of my lady bits!

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    1. Oh girl, I've always been terrified but honestly all of those fears become less and less the more you feel your baby kick and when you get to see him or her :) congrats on your engagement by the way! Just enjoy marriage and serve your hubby and get to know him before worrying about kiddos ;)

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