Do you know that feeling when your husband or significant other says or does something so awesome that it just blows you away? I feel that way a lot with my husband. God gave me someone that I know He was joyful about creating. Joseph really seeks the heart of God. And God is always faithful to pour into him. The thoughts he shared have had me thinking...
We are going to be first time parents in just four short months. I have a freak out about it once every few weeks. We are beyond excited but one small move and I am tripping out about how much I just do not know about being a good parent. We are at the point where we are devouring any and all information (okay, mainly me on birthing--eeek). But, above all the great and not so great parenting advice, there is God. Our Daddy God seated on the throne forever. And He knows it all. Even the little things and He knows the best way for Joe and I to parent and love our little girl and all of her future siblings to come.
A few nights ago, we were talking about our baby and parenting and God and everything in between. Joe was talking about how he often thinks and prays about who our girl will grow up to be. He was saying how he desires for her to be a woman who seeks God, who loves God truly, and who follows Him. We so want that. And then he went on to say when he was praying about all of this to God, he felt like God was saying,
"what kind of father would that woman of God have to have?"
How awesome is that! I love when God really speaks to us. Straight to our hearts. So I think about that for myself. What kind of mom & dad would a baby who will one day be a little girl who will one day be a vulnerable teenager who will one day be a grown woman need to have in her life for her to be such a woman of God? Of course, not all the pressure is on us as parents because ultimately God is God and we can trust that. But, I really believe that God was wanting Joe and I to think about our own hearts. How are we seeking Him? How are we loving Him? How are we actively seeking the lost and loving the broken? What is our character like?
I am so much like my mom. She is hilarious and kind and gentle and selfless. Although I'm sure I have a ways to go in the selflessness department, I really believe that if she had been any different than who she is as a mom and a woman of God, then I wouldn't be the same Katie. I can see reflections of Joe's parents in him as well.. full of life and joy. Who we grow up around and who raises us really does have a lasting effect on who we are. What if our children were surrounded by Jesus-in-us?
What would happen if every single day as a parent, I seek the face of God. I yearn for Him. I sing His praises. I rely on Him to be my strength. I repent in front of my kids and ask for their forgiveness when I mess up. What would happen if I put my husband first, in front of my own children? What if I took seriously loving my neighbor and did everything in my power to serve those around me? What if I really followed Jesus into the hard places? Among the mess (because until heaven, there will always be mess), what if my life was characterized by how much I just loved Jesus Christ, my Savior?
What kind of children would I have?
I really believe that my own heart and the hearts of my children would look a little more like our Lord's heart. And that is what we desire.
I may not know the tricks of the trade when it comes to parenting, but if I know one thing about parenting my entire life, I know this...
When I put my entire trust and surrendered life in my Father's hands, I am putting my children there also. And He knows who they will be. And He desires for them to be His. God gave us a little girl whose hand we are appointed to hold and lead towards Jesus. In order to lead our children to Him, we must be following Jesus ourselves. The road is narrow and sparse. That road will have heartache and mess ups, and hurts and joys and triumph and pain, but no matter how we fail or do right as parents, that narrow road leads to Jesus. That's all we have to do as parents... Grab their hand and walk with them.