Tuesday, April 21, 2015

What Are You Seeking? - the world vs. jesus -

Can I just be honest?

I blew it. It's only the second day of the week and I already blew it like glass in a tire on the highway. If you are a female of any age, surely you know Lily Pulitzer? And you know & probably love Target. And you know that this week, the two collided. Of course there is nothing wrong with that, in fact, I searched the site for an hour picking out my favorite dress. And yesterday, after thirty minutes online, I decided which dress I was going to purchase to add to my overflowing collection of sundresses that I already own. (I know what you're thinking.. i bet she really needed that dress. The world might end if she doesn't get that dress). I thought I really needed it. Because I thought it would make me happy and I really wouldn't need anymore. I would be content. This dress would complete me. Ugh, I stink. Let me be clear, wanting a dress wasn't the real issue. Although I know the truth, I was looking to the world for temporary fulfillment because I wasn't being obedient to Jesus or spending time with Him. I was being a rebellious child.
This morning, as I forced myself to the kitchen table to open up the Word that fills my hungry (and wretched, selfish) heart, I began to write in my prayer journal. Because the Word was too convicting. Y'all, I haven't truly been in the Word in over a week.
 Told you, I blew it.

 My hungry soul had been seeking things of this world.... dresses I don't need, more crap to fill my already-filled home, obsessive thoughts about the future (like obsessing over anything really does any good). I've just been a worldly mess and I've pushed Jesus so far out of my sight, that I couldn't even get back without feeling guilty. Please tell me I'm not the only one. I know I'm not. But I'm not writing to correct you. I'm writing to tell you that even when we seek the world, seek our selfish desires, those things we do not need, Jesus is still there waiting for us to seek Him again. He never looks at us, thinking, "Wow, she really blew it. There is no way I could ever forgive her for that. She is going to have to work hard to get me to love her and hug her again." NO. Jesus thinks quite the opposite about us, even when we are in our mess. Even when we lose sight of the purpose, promise, and hope of our lives.
I believe Jesus looks at you & me and he says, "BELOVED, Come to me. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I am your heart's greatest desire. I am your God and you are my child. Forever."
This morning, after writing my sad, guilty words to God, He spoke right back... as clear as the blue sky outside of my window. And my soul did a cartwheel, my knees hit the ground.
"Who are you seeking?" were the words in my STR devotion.
The devotion pointed to the Jesus-seeking Mary Magdalene after Jesus had died and was put inside of the tomb. She ran out to see Him but found no Jesus, only glorious angels proclaiming His resurrection. Even when she saw that the tomb was empty of her king, she kept seeking. Through her broken heart. Through her confusion. Nothing was going to stop her from seeking Jesus. She kept seeking Jesus Christ, her soul's one desire.
"Mary saw the stone was rolled away, her Savior missing from the tomb – and she went in to look for Him anyway.Two angels dressed in glowing white greeted her and most folks would have run – but Mary went to them weeping, asking for her Lord.Then a face she could not recognize through her tears asked why she was sad, and Mary didn’t even answer the question. She jumped right to the seeking.
“Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” (v.15, emphasis mine)
Mary was simply and sincerely seeking her Lord. She sought Him when He was living, and she sought Him after He died. She sought Him relentlessly, even through the pain and confusion of a freshly broken heart.
Mary did not yet know the “why” of what was happening, but she knew this: she needed to find Jesus.
She sought Him, and He spoke her name.
He saw her, He knew her.
She called for Him and He called back to her.
“Mary.”" -shereadstruth
Mary sought after Jesus. And Jesus called her by name. As I was reading that excerpt from the devotional, I inserted my name instead of Mary's. Because it's true. When we seek Jesus, He speaks our name. He speaks up, letting us know that He is still there. Nothing we do or seek can push away His love. He knows me, He loves me. And He knows and loves you. He's a personal God.
Jesus spoke to me clearly and now my heart is full again. It's amazing how quickly He can comfort us, speak to us. He isn't a million light-years away. He is near. He is so close, beloved.
I don't need that stupid dress as much as I need peace and contentment of heart and joy. Jesus. I need Jesus.
Let's stop seeking the things of this world & daily seek Jesus, whose ruling Kingdom (and our true home) is not of this world!
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13
Relentlessly seek the world & you'll always want more, never be satisfied. Relentlessly seek Jesus & your heart will not only be filled, but will absolutely overflow with gladness.

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